Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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