So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
