I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize