Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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