You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
