I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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