Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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