we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my being single is dangerous.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
