yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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