Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize