I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
