i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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