I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
