ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
