Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
