i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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