I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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