for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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