If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm at about main and main street
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
