Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
