My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
