her vagine was all disorganized.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
