Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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