my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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