I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
