Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I need to align my fucking chakras
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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