omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
