I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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