she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
