I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
how drunk are you?
Several
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
