I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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