Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I AM VODKA MAN
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
