how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
