This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
