It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
