last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
