I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I got inside last night via doggy door
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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