Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
