I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
