Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize