it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
