I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
