she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Randomize
