I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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