My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
