I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
