I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
