I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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