It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
