DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
