It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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