my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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