come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Welp...herpes.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
