one might say we're banned from that church
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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