Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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