Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
stop calling my apartment porn island.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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