Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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