ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
